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Friday, November 2, 2012

Suitcases 3

Waiting at track 2: the train that only allows Mental Suitcases

"What is essential to the success of your holiday is the luggage you take along: what do you leave out?"

Hah, now we are on familiar ground: turning concrete matters into metaphors.

We are not going on a standard trip, the annual happening that you talk over at length with your colleagues.
You are taking a break, because you've had it, really had it, with the way things are going now. You need clarity, room to think and draw conclusions, make new plans...
So we're not going around the corner or cross the channel. We'll be taking a plane to move through timezones. 

I think I won't take a backpack, but a real suitcase, nice and strong.  I'm going to lock it and make sure that my most precious items don't show up on x-rays... I don't need security people and customs to scrutinize what I value most: my old dreams.
- I want to gather the strength and passion for them. So I can pursue them, even if other people, -those who seem to have made it in life- tell me it's safer not to try. 
I've tried living their way... didn't work out.  Their style is the unsafe way for me.

No, no cell phone.  My family might call on me, asking me how to fix this, to arrange that etc.  When you take no cell phone, it means people will have to call the hotel lobby first and talk in a language foreign to them. A great threshold to block communication. forcing those that stay behind to learn to solve their problems by themselves. That would be the first good change!


Do I take along swimming gear, sun block? Nah, not going to hang out in the sun or be a sportswoman. Those things don't clear my head at all. I rather take along some plywood 
and my crayons.

Maybe even a bit of clay. I saw a very inspiring couple in the waiting room of the animal clinic where I go to for Mario, the white cat. And my daily life doesn't leave much room for art. Being able to create all day will be terribly good for me. It'll cure my numbed sense for who I am.
-  There you go, I pinpointed another problem: I need to spend more time drawing, sculpting and writing!  
It usually makes me feel so good that I do my chores twice as fast afterwards. It pays itself back.  
***  Parents: don't teach your children to do the boring things first!!  



I'm a bit doubtful about taking along a laptop... I love using it for writing and it helps me find my way around at 'Wherever I May Go'. Good info on public transport just broadens my world.  But I must make sure 'the others' won't use it instead of the cell phone that I left behind...   
- That is another thing I might change in daily life: my inaptness at drawing lines, setting limits. No is no. Let others really solve their own problems. Minor problems. Ay, here I go again. I may say 'No' to some major problems to. I'm a human being, I cannot carry the load of everyone around me!

So the laptop is definitely coming along. Even if it's only to teach me to do what I want while my family finds out they cna do without me. 

-That sounds like i'm making myself 'not needed'. Does that mean they'll love me less?  Nah, have you never heard of the lines  " I love you because I need you" and "I need you because I love you" ?   Time to make room available to experience the latter :)

 
I could go on for hours, but what YOU need to do... is pack your own Mental Suitcase.



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