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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Strictness does not create powerful children

Have you been raised by the rule of finishing your plate, to be allowed your desert?  To finish your home work before being allowed to play?

This is supposed to turn children into adults who do not shrink from duty, even if it's not a nice thing to do.
But that's not the outcome....

It implies that all nasty tasks will pay off in something nice.  But life is not like that. Sometimes you work your a.. off  and you're NOT rewarded, life just keeps on sucking.

You were trained in task setting being done for you and that rewards are also coming to you from outside... you were trained to depend on the world around you.

If you were raised wiser, you would have been allowed to follow your own instincts, so you could learn where your judgment failed you,  so you could sharpen it. You would have learned to trust your own heart and that your ideas matter.  The self confidence that we need as adults.
And as for rewards... you should have learned that the joy of working on something that's connected to your soul and pride over your own endeavor, are the rewards...   Even if you tried and failed.. so you may try again!
No dependency on the society or world around you! It doesn't make a person anti social, but simply more confident. And confident people are healthier and function better.

The adage of finishing your plate first, and do your homework first can have even worse consequences ....
It may spoil your joy of doing something totally unimportant but fun... because oh, you haven't done anything boring before that. Which is your habit. Or there are unfinished tasks lying around...
And you may be a habtiual teeth grinder, working hard at finishing the job before resting... causing a burn out at age 50.

Play first and use the energy it gives to do what really must be done later on. If it still needs to be done! Some matters solve themselves over time.

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