The Empty Room

   I know of a room that is a happy room.  Really,  if you just open the door a little bit and poke your head in, you will smile.
   Light is flooding in through a window that's as wide as the room. There's so much sky to see, and trees too. And inside the room are sweet looking dolls and animals. Both old and new ones.
   There are glass jars for water to rinse the paintbrushes that are in a vase behind the jars.  The paint is on that same table. Acrylic paint for paper and canvass, and even more paint for textile, you know... t-shirts, blouses and pants.
    Light, colors and toy friends. A room full of spirit.
   And magic!  For a real white cat spends hours up there. Black cats for black magic, white cats for white magic, right?

    The sad thing is ... the owner never enters the room.  She furnished it, put everything in place while smiling at the thought of many hours to be spent here. Then she went downstairs , to her "living" room and never walked back upstairs.
   How can anyone hide from happiness? Happiness is like an essential nutrient: without adding it to your "things-to-do-diet"  you die. Mentally.


Unable to enjoy happiness

   Yes, how?  Let's dive into the woman's past to look for a clue.
    At school she was not allowed to play with the other children during breaks, when she hadn't written down all the sums. [She was very good at arithmetic, but terribly slow at writing]
    At home she was not allowed to do what she liked if she hadn't done her homework first. And only after finishing a dinner she disliked, was she allowed to have desert.

   The adults of her childhood probably thought they were training her well, make her suited for life in a demanding world. It was supposed to teach self discipline.
   Alas, the actual message they sent, said "Happiness is not unconditional. It's a treat that is to be earned and can only be enjoyed when there is time left over."
For those who like lists, here's a breakdown of the message:

1.  Happiness comes at a price; To be paid up front
2.  You have no right to be happy, but you may earn bits of it
3.  Happiness is no more than a treat: not essential, but an extra
4.  Happiness is so unimportant, you may only enjoy it when there is time left over!!  
    For Time is actually intended for serious matters [that rarely bring joy - how come?]

    With that message in mind, a room dedicated to hours of happiness becomes a threat.  It requires a huge entrance fee and it makes the person entering it into a felon, stealing Time that was meant to be spent on serious matters. On tasks that matter more to others than to oneself.
And one should put others first, because  "what am I anyway" ? Someone who doesn't even have the right to be happy....

        So especially when the woman is tired, burned out and feeling down... the price of entering the room has become way too high. For she is much too tired to pay the price required to be have a happy hour.  No, for the woman it is best to stay away from happy places...


    Actually, her generation was brought up that way and many of them get a burn out when they are somewhere around 50. These people are compulsory in delivering whatever is demanded by others and great at neglecting their own health.  As a consequence. they do not recharge their battery often enough .... by being doing something that makes them happy.

I am searching like mad to find a way to rub out those bad lessons, so the woman can enjoy being happy without feeling guilty over it.  But it's a difficult puzzle.

Reconnecting with the Soul

The Soul-woman within me

should be resting

in my sacral cradle.

Make her mystic meals

in the abdominal cavity

and do her life's  work

right here from the heart.

But she is not

She is held captive

high up in the tower 

past its ivory gates

I'll have to drive my dragon-bike

from Chicago to L.A.

breaking barriers to set her free

Animals needing help.

I got another urgent mail from Michelle of the L.A. Rabbit Foundation. It seems that bunnies keep coming in at the shelter.  From the Netherlands it's hard to help, but maybe you, dear reader, can?

Please visit:  http://larabbits.org/

Strictness does not create powerful children

Have you been raised by the rule of finishing your plate, to be allowed your desert?  To finish your home work before being allowed to play?

This is supposed to turn children into adults who do not shrink from duty, even if it's not a nice thing to do.
But that's not the outcome....

It implies that all nasty tasks will pay off in something nice.  But life is not like that. Sometimes you work your a.. off  and you're NOT rewarded, life just keeps on sucking.

You were trained in task setting being done for you and that rewards are also coming to you from outside... you were trained to depend on the world around you.

If you were raised wiser, you would have been allowed to follow your own instincts, so you could learn where your judgment failed you,  so you could sharpen it. You would have learned to trust your own heart and that your ideas matter.  The self confidence that we need as adults.
And as for rewards... you should have learned that the joy of working on something that's connected to your soul and pride over your own endeavor, are the rewards...   Even if you tried and failed.. so you may try again!
No dependency on the society or world around you! It doesn't make a person anti social, but simply more confident. And confident people are healthier and function better.

The adage of finishing your plate first, and do your homework first can have even worse consequences ....
It may spoil your joy of doing something totally unimportant but fun... because oh, you haven't done anything boring before that. Which is your habit. Or there are unfinished tasks lying around...
And you may be a habtiual teeth grinder, working hard at finishing the job before resting... causing a burn out at age 50.

Play first and use the energy it gives to do what really must be done later on. If it still needs to be done! Some matters solve themselves over time.