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Friday, December 23, 2011

The Freedman [1 of 5]


Granddad, what are you staring at? We've got to go.” The ten year old budding woman brought her new grandfather back to real life again. With a shiver the older man turned his back to the farmhouse. He had seen a fire, as soon as he started to lock the door. A huge devastating fire ruining his house and much of the surrounding buildings.
Nonsense. He had checked everything before he left. And there would be personnel around during his brief absence. The house would still be there when he'd come home from Balmead.

Balmead, the name of the house of Martin's new daughter-in-law. Mother of the ten year young woman and an eight year old prankster who never got bored of teasing his sister.
And now their mother had married his son. The day after tomorrow they'd return from their honeymoon and his son would move in at Balmead. Leaving empty the apartment at Lhamgrange. Martin had offered to keep the apartment ready for Ron and his new family, for visits. But his son had found a tenant. “The grange is not really a profitable place, dad. Can't let an opportunity for an extra income slip by.”

So now his son was married to a woman twelve years older than he -Ron- was himself. Launching himself elbow deep into fatherhood at the same time. The older man silently wondered why his son had made this choice. The latter had already made it clear that he wouldn't stand any comment on that matter.

Granddad, what were you thinking of?” While opening the door of his car for the girl, he loosely mentioned his 'vision'. “Just a silly thought. I have thoroughly checked everything,” he concluded. With a caring look the girl's eyes roamed the grounds and the buildings of the grange. “It's not really going to burn down, please Granddad?”
As the old man shook his head reassuringly, the girl slid into the car. The younger boy seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Seated himself next to his sister. He had clearly overheard her last question, because as soon as his grandfather took his place behind the wheel, the boy blurted out that the grange was in no way safe from burning down. “It happened before. The stable master told me so.” Via the mirror, Martin frowned at the boy. “That was centuries ago. Besides, that was arson.” As if arson was not subject to repetition.


He's riding home alone, his men already having left the day before. The duke had detained only him. What for? He had been waiting all day, only to answer some trivial questions and perform an almost menial task. The senseless waste of time away from home frustrated Ranuld. His heart belongs to his homeland, Leysinghowe. And to the people who depend on him, a mixture of freedmen and serfs, who rather serve him than the duke. And not in the least does his heart belong to his spouse.
Ranuld feels restless, urges on his horse. At least one can travel faster when alone. The road is familiar, so he continues his journey after the sun has set. He will sleep in his own bed tonight, his consort locked in his arms. Even before Ranuld and his horse reach the top of the last hill to cross, the moonlight is no longer their sole companion. There is a familiar, harsh yellow glow glaring up from the hill beyond the valley. The hill of the freedman, leysing's howe.
Fire! Ranuld's heart starts to race, his muscles tighten. The horse bucks, too familiar with fire already, but Ranuld regains control. Now they are galloping down the hill, and across the valley. Moving in on the file of people leaving the village. His people, the men, women and children. With a shock Ranuld realizes that there is no struggle. Most seem to leave voluntarily.
There is some uproar, further away, from men -soldiers- he doesn't know. They carry torches, laughing they move towards two horsemen who stay at the back, as if trying to go by unseen. To no avail. One of the riders is a tall broad shouldered man, no mistake. The other is lean and slim. Fragile as a woman.
Ranuld rides in on them, making sure they will not pass by him without a confrontation.
The large hood does not hide the woman's mouth. Ranuld recognizes the narrow shapely curves at once. Eve, his spouse. Is she riding along with this stranger out of her own free will? Her lips tighten in fear, but not before she has seen Ranuld, heading them off.
Ranuld now veers toward the masculine rider. His posture suddenly becomes familiar. One of the duke's guests. He had left with a handful of men, the day after Ranuld arrived.
On seeing the true husband of his new 'bride', the large knight pulls his sword. He's not impressed by Ranuld's physical appearance. It's the calm decisiveness in the eyes of the betrayed landowner that upsets him. The clatter of swords, the whinnying of the horses pierce through the rumble and crackles of the fires. The unfaithful people halt and turn. As if frozen, they gaze at the two men, who continue their duel dismounted from their horses. As their fight draws on, the third rider, Ranuld's lady, slides down from her horse and approaches the rivals. As the large man pushes the leaner one from him, she steps in. Her uplifted arms go down with force. In her hands a dagger, shimmering golden in the firelight. A moment later the landowner doubles up and sinks to the ground. The two conspirators stare at the still form in dismay. Only for a moment, then they remount their horses and press the bystanders to move on. What use is it, staying at a burned down village that has lost it's proprietor?

When he had finished telling the tale to his grandson, Martin mentally shook off the haunted feeling the history gave him. Through his mirror he looked his granddaughter in the eye. She clearly liked the story as little as he did. She didn't speak, but her eyes begged him to please put a plaster on the wound. So Martin went on.

Graham, Leysinghowe's shepherd, has seen the glow of the fires against the black sky. He has rushed to the village, to find his deserted master lying unconsciously between the burning houses. Hurt badly but alive.
Graham carries him to a remote house that has been overlooked by the arsonists. There he takes care of the wound and nurses his friend those first nights, while his life hangs on a thread only. By then a few of the village's people have returned and they take over the care of the betrayed freedman.
Ranuld doesn't want the large farmhouse restored. So a new modest house is rising on the foundation of the old one. Neither does the village regain its previous glory. It becomes a remote farmstead, a grange. When the owner is at home, worn out travelers are welcomed, fed and rested. But often the house is dark and deserted, because of Ranuld spending time with Graham the shepherd. The flock, under the watchful eye of two dedicated friends, prospers and the grange becomes known as the Lhamb's Grange. The talks of the two men help Ranuld heal and overcome most of his pain. There is just that big scar, where the dagger has pierced his chest and scathed his heart. Ranuld learns that it won't hinder him, as long as he refrains from extreme exercise and deep emotions. On the quiet nights with his sheep herding friend, who is now accompanied by his niece, Gwen, he forgets his mark entirely.

Julia looked relieved. She couldn't bear the idea of the kindhearted landowner not surviving the attack -the betrayal- of his wife. She wasn't after the roughness and kicks like Howard, her younger brother. She is, as Ron informed his father, a hopeless romantic. A bit like Ron then. The old man kept the thought to himself.
Howard wasn't entirely insensitive to romance either. He wanted to know all the details of life in medieval times. Focusing on warfare. He fired off questions at his grandfather at a steady pace. Julia's eyes swerved across the horizon, while she dreamed and thus answered all her questions herself.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Visitor

to a certain somebody




He came by yesterday. Now that she didn’t have to care for her mother anymore, part of her brain was unoccupied. The part that picked up the soft unobtrusive sounds that every house has. That side of her heard his knock on the door and –as in a reflex- let him in.
With a friendly smile he entered her room and made himself comfortable. She vaguely thought she recognized his face and he exuded an air of familiarity with her, so she made him coffee.
“Do you take cream and sugar?” she asked him.
“I’ll have both,” he replied. He spilled powdered cream on the floor. He stirred his coffee so erratically that the drops landed on the table, where they mixed with the sugar crystals that had fallen next to his mug.
While her PC was starting up, she turned to get her coffee from the dinner table. She wasn’t sure… did he retract his hand from her mug? Had he put sugar in her coffee? His smile was open and warm. Instead of asking him, she probed her coffee with a spoon. No milk no sugar, the coffee was just fine. She took it with her to the desk with the computer. “You’ll have to excuse me, “ she said, “there is something I must write down, before I forget. ” He nodded understandingly.
She wrote her lines, tasted them by reading them over again. It felt fine. The right amount of sweetness and bitterness combined. She sipped her coffee. Strange, it tasted a bit drab. Annoyed she looked at her story again. What had she been thinking of, when she wrote it? It wasn’t all that good. She closed the program without saving the new lines.
Her uninvited guest had opened a small suitcase. From it he withdrew a little standard and some sticks of  incense. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“No, no” she didn’t dare forbid him. Besides, in the past she used incense herself now and then. She opened her mail application. To see if a certain someone had dropped a line to her. A little life line.
“When did you get his last mail?” The voice of the visitor was so close, it seemed to come from within. So she wasn’t surprised at his knowing what she was looking for. “That was yesterday afternoon.” She answered casually.
“Oh, that’s over 24 hours already,” the visitor pulled up his eyebrows questioningly. Then , with an innocent  face, he lit the incense. “That’s not his habit, is it?”
She got a little irritated, but had to admit her guest was right. It wasn’t his habit.
“Well, of course at some point email is a little limited. Boring maybe. Some people get at that point sooner than others.”
She felt her mood sinking several degrees at that last remark. Because it reflected her feelings exactly.
"Come. Smell the incense. It'll cheer you up." The visitor invited her over to her own dinner table. She inhaled a little deeper than usual. Couldn't really make out the scent. The smoke of the incense was no good either. It was thick and spread through the room evenly, making everything look more grey.Good incense sends its smoke up in bursts of curls, twirling and spinning, bending and stretching, like a group of acrobats and ballet dancers. Making smooth turns like the well chosen words in some of her stories.
Was it really that good, her writing? Wasn't she just being childishly uncritical about her own work? What about her latest 'sequel'? The struggle she went through and her main characters still tiptoed around each other, stiff as garden rakes. She had really overestimated herself when she started that tale. When, when would she ever learn to see her impotence sharply and come down from her cloudy horse? She walked over to her computer. Selected all her stories in the directory. Her finger went over to the delete button. Just then she heard the locks of her guest's suitcase snap shut.
"I'd better leave now. Don't want to keep you from throwing away the rubbish in your life."  He tucked the suitcase under his arm and went for the door. There he turned around one more time.  "And I would stop being so 'honest' and open  if I were you. It makes you a bit of a ... woman with low standards, you see. That will turn away everybody."  His eyes weren't friendly. They were cold as steel.
Her finger didn't touch the provocative button. She needed her hand to support her head as she sank down on the chair behind her desk. Since she was alone, she might as well have a cry now. Through her tears she saw the mess the man had left behind.  Sticky coffee stains mixed with incense ash on her table. The box of the incense on the floor, in the midst of the powdered cream. She picked up the package with two fingers only. Her eyes caught the name of the fragrance he'd used:  "Ingratitude".
With a shock she remembered him. They did know each other well. He was mister Doubt. Just dropping by to make her an uncertain somebody.

Jo.    




Saturday, December 17, 2011

Clairvoyance

Maybe I have a very slight telepathic inclination...  but this morning I've discovered that I can even predict the future!

On Saturday October 22 I posted part one of a story, the sequel of Haesito in Medio:   Journey with Unknown Destination . This time I didn't get stuck in the middle, I got stuck at the beginning, haesito in ovo.
I have the tendency to put certain things off: from getting up to doing chores. When I even think about them, I get a weird sensation...  The story I started in October was to help me find out why I have this tendency and how I can get rid of it. I  Introduced a young dog, not properly house trained, to make sure that the main character would be forced to get up and act... but I never wrote down the scene.  Like a nasty chore it just hung around in my head, making no headway at all.
Little did I know... when two weeks ago my son bought a kitten, a young 'persian prince' called Diego...

I decided to 'sleep in' this morning  -sorry, yesterday morning we just passed midnight-.  A decision my pets didn't appreciate. In protest the degus starting throwing the sawdust out of their cages. And the walking furball, beg pardon, the persian prince,  dragged the spillings all over my room -a bedsitter- . If that were all. When the royal highness walked over my face I noticed he smelled bad and his feet were dirty with something that makes you lose your appetite for breakfast. So I cast a glance over the edge of my bed ....  oh no... the prince had scooped some of the crown jewels out of the litter box.  I still wonder how he did that.
Just as I had imagened for my story, the leading actress just had to get up and DO something. Roll up her sleeves, after getting dressed of course, her nighty has no sleeves that can be rolled up-  grit her teeth and start working her way out of the sh.. Literally and  as always it worked figuratively as well. Because the work actually did her a lot of good. When she was finally hosing down the litterbox under the shower, her rotten mood  vanished. Down the drain with the rest of the muck.


Thank you Your Highness, for messing up so much.  I shouldn't have chosen a puppy for my story, but a kitten. 
While I wrtie this, the prince is paying a visit to the family in my 1:12 scale log cabin...



*****
Telepathy?  I've had some experiences and done some experiments that point in that direction. But I guess you can also throw them on the pile of 'coincidences'. Well alright, just one example, the rest I keep under my hat. Marked private.


When I was still living in Haarlem, - a glorious time with the Hells Angels as my back door and next door neighbours - ,  my mother went to a group of amateur poets . Once a week, on tuesday night.
Afterwards she would drop by my place, for a last chat before going to sleep.  There was no set time for her arrival. Sometimes she walked alone from the poets society, or with someone else, or she'd get a ride. At times she stayed with her fellow artists for a drink, other times she'd leave straight away.
I remember it distinctly, one evening, a picture of her shot through my mind. Something was up. Without hesitation I put on my coat and walked out. That is odd. I'm the one who hesitates, especially when negativity is involved. Yet this time, though I was aware that something was up, I was not afraid or stressed. 
Just around the corner, under the railway viaduct, I ran into my mother. It was pretty dark there. And out of that darkness, from the sidewalk,  a motorcyclist appeared, looked right at us and then 'he 'hit' the road.
"Thank God you came looking for me, " my mother said as the motor guy disappeared.  " That man has been following me. Close to the station he even followed me riding his motor on the sidewalk."
In her fear, she had been thinking of me. That's when she made contact.

Rotten, fearful feelings are often called 'presentiments'. But they are not. They are just thoughts, that stick to you because you're in a bad or sad mood. If you give in to that moodyness... then your ideas will become self fullfilling prophecies. That has nothing to do with clairvoyance. Clairvoyance conveys images that do not involve your mood. The picture is short and clear. So clear that it'll stick to you a long time.  But it does not bring along fear. Just info.

Some people believe that the gift of clairvoyance is reserved for a selected few. Just as other special -esoteric- gifts. This is what the theosophists claimed. Rudolf Steiner, once a theosophist himself,  believed that we all are gifted. This caused him to break with theosophy. And hence the name anthroposophy, indicating that all men -anthropos- have special gifts, not just a few, selected by God -Theos- .
It's just that we live our lives too much on autopilot and walk around with our mental eyes closed too often.





Monday, December 5, 2011

My Old Umbrella


My son, the first years of your life,
you and I go together day by day.
Sometimes the sun will shine,
and you'll be frisky, glad and gay.
But at times the light wears out,
the rain is coming in.

I don't know why it is, my boy,
but my umbrella is not as bright and good
as others' you might have seen.
Perhaps God was in a joking mood,
when he handed mine to me?
It opens well and can stand a storm,
but rain keeps seeping through.
We won't stay dry and warm, my boy,
when the clouds are full and blue

Hush, let me share a secret now.
While other kids
keep their neat shields free of stain,
we both sneak out into moonlit nights.
In search of muddy pools,
those remnants of the rain.

We'll turn my 'brella upside down
and when the  moonlight strikes the pool,
we'll sail into the white moon glade.
To enter a world sublime.
Where your soul's  the creator king,
running wild and free

We'll stay until your smile grows strong.
Than we go back, embrace our destiny.
Knowing that when the rain is gone,
there'll  be pools of mud.
just there for you and me.