Women

They come in various shapes, sizes and colours. They differ in sound, style and character. Fate has it that I'm one as well. I know it's not always a 50-50 chance, but I think in my family it was.

At times I run into a soul mate. A smile, a joke and immediately I know there's a sameness in spirit.

But other times.... I may sit next to a woman who makes me feel awkward. As if I'm excelling in boorishness, in unrefinement. Totally lacking in graces... These negative feelings about myself make it hard for me to like my neighbour. It's not fair, I know. These women, fellows of my gender, may not think so badly of me. It's just that I've been impressed in the late sixties -by those who raised or educated me- with what I ought to be like, not having been born a boy. This hampers me at moments that self esteem runs low....

Yes the opposite at times happens too. There are ways of being a woman that lie outside the range of my 'ambition' so to speak.

At my better moments, if I see  a woman smile to her youngster, play, laugh at a child's prank as old as life... give advise or just frown, mutter, jank or maybe even scold ... I know she went through those same last stages of pregnancy and labor like I did. Or maybe through the trials and tensions that make adoptions not easier and definitely no less loving than when nature has granted you the ability to have a child that is genetically related. I know this woman went through teething and the tantrums of the terrible two's, wondering whether puberty would really be worse than that...

Then I realize that deep down we are not so different, that we are resilient and creative creatures, curious and caring.

When I see anyone of us with a partner who is just not treating her -us- in a way I can call respectful, my toes curl in my shoes. Will she open her eyes, I question myself, and end up with someone else who gives her the respect she deserves -and needs- . Or better yet, will she be able to hang in and manage to uncover the gold she somehow feels must be residing in her counterpart ?

Because, despite of our difference in looks, manners and style, we are all valuable creatures.

Puberty and Peers

My 13 year old son is not 'pubering' in full swing yet, he agrees with me too often.   

[note: the dutch have turned puberty into a verb]                                                                      

His Royal Highness taking a nap

But the Persian prince definitely has reached puberty. He refuses to let [grand]father Joost groom his fur, so now his beautiful coat is becoming more ragged every day. The prince that looks like a pauper.... Time for me to take over from Joost.

The prince, his name is Diego but his owners call him Jake, is spending a lot of time downstairs with Mario, the cat with bi-coloured eyes, the cat that likes to fight with poor old Joost. The cat with the drinking problem. 

It is obvious to me that Jake takes Mario as his peer. Jake is now kicking the water bowl the same way as Mario does. And I'm sure Jake doesn't have Mario's fear of sticking his nose in too far. He just copies his friend's behaviour.

The Halloween Cat

  

I guess I live in a house full of weirdo's anyway.  My rabbit is very fond of cats for company, she tries to come close to them and sleep with them. She allows them to sleep in her cage.  Except for Jake. She doesn't see him as a cat... 

For birds she has zero tolerance. I've seen Plurkis chasing out magpies and caught her dashing out from the bushes, jumping on two pigeons.

So several times a week I fill a small bowl with cat cookies and put it in the garden, to attract some more friends for my rabbit.  But what did I notice from the corner of my eye last week?  A little blackbird standing at the bowl, swallowing the cat cookies... Plurkis didn't mind. Anyone who eats cat food is welcome!

Apologies for the quality of the clip. It was my very first production.

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(c) JoAnne Lakefield Jasper ;    May 2012

Feeling

What is that?   OK, for the pragmatical and the scientist who is in need of calculable matter, it's a bunch of hormones. But whát is it ?

It is definitely a physical thing too, it can be felt in our organs... like a weird sea sick sense in the stomach, changes in our heartbeats, or a throat tightening up. I am not talking about the adaptive reactions in fight or flight situations, that conserve energy and help us focus our strength on the only thing of vital importance: running or punching.

No, I'm talking about emotions like feeling so lonely and lost it makes you feel as if your chest cavity is being scratched empty with a paint scraper.  Feeling so awkward and ashamed that you don't want to attract any attention... and then you blush.  Grieving so hard it comes to tears ...  deep silent joy given away by more tears. 

And what ís the use, in terms of natural selection, of tears and upset mucous membranes? A bride blowing her nose behind her veil is not a pretty sight. And if she manages to imitate a fog horn, she's not a pretty sound either. It might set the groom running -while the 'curtain' is still down-. I don't see the evolutionary advantage in that...

Maybe we need tear filled eyes to stop us from looking at what is either too ugly to witness or too beautiful to behold ?

Could we experience feelings if there was no physical component in it ? Could I feel down if my body was still joyously taking in all stimuli form the surrounding world ? Could I.. no wrong example, I was about to say 'smile while experiencing pain' but some people smile through their tears, so the answer's yes. Could I do some spontaneous dance steps while suffering from a deep wish for a hug?

If there were no physical sensations attached to our emotions, our languages would surely be a lot poorer. How could you stomach that? I didn't have the heart for it. And a nice Dutch one: he was standing with his mouth full of teeth, which is in plain (?) English: he put his foot in his mouth. A bit of a problem with proprioceptive information, I gather?

Maybe God was being a cheap skate. Or pragmatical... Using the same neurotransmitters for body functions as for emotions. I know that a bad mood causes stomach problems. While stomach ache makes people sour and angry. Suppose He used very different hormones for feelings and body parts. How big should our brains be and how many more organs would we need ?

I'm walking a side line here. My original question should be read like ... how can events, tragedies, romances etc. that are outside our own lives, arouse emotions in us? Even if these events are in art, in music or in stories?

Why all these questions, why this post?

Can't you tell? I just saw a movie... and now I wish I had never bought the DVD.