The memories connected to this plant I prefer to forget. But the fact that this plant is doing so well after recovering from neglect and next survived -unintended- mistreatment has symbolical significance: A broken heart can recover ! Not just once.
I just wonder how...
For days I'm wrestling with the notion, that my dearest dream just cannot come true, that it is silly to invest all my reserves in it and waste what I have here.
Letting go of a dream that runs so deep is as heartbreaking as losing a loved one. I navigated by it, it gave meaning to all I did. Now every movement I make seems useless, dispirited .... and it drains my last bit of energy.
I wish I could go underground, like the Broken Heart did, to heal the roots I've severed. Hibernating until the pain is over, or at least bearable.
|Even before the heart breaks, the tears are already there. |
You can see them in the white part