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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Empty Room


   I know of a room that is a happy room.  Really,  if you just open the door a little bit and poke your head in, you will smile.
   Light is flooding in through a window that's as wide as the room. There's so much sky to see, and trees too. And inside the room are sweet looking dolls and animals. Both old and new ones.
   There are glass jars for water to rinse the paintbrushes that are in a vase behind the jars.  The paint is on that same table. Acrylic paint for paper and canvass, and even more paint for textile, you know... t-shirts, blouses and pants.
    Light, colors and toy friends. A room full of spirit.
   And magic!  For a real white cat spends hours up there. Black cats for black magic, white cats for white magic, right?

    The sad thing is ... the owner never enters the room.  She furnished it, put everything in place while smiling at the thought of many hours to be spent here. Then she went downstairs , to her "living" room and never walked back upstairs.
   How can anyone hide from happiness? Happiness is like an essential nutrient: without adding it to your "things-to-do-diet"  you die. Mentally.


Unable to enjoy happiness

   Yes, how?  Let's dive into the woman's past to look for a clue.
    At school she was not allowed to play with the other children during breaks, when she hadn't written down all the sums. [She was very good at arithmetic, but terribly slow at writing]
    At home she was not allowed to do what she liked if she hadn't done her homework first. And only after finishing a dinner she disliked, was she allowed to have desert.

   The adults of her childhood probably thought they were training her well, make her suited for life in a demanding world. It was supposed to teach self discipline.
   Alas, the actual message they sent, said "Happiness is not unconditional. It's a treat that is to be earned and can only be enjoyed when there is time left over."
For those who like lists, here's a breakdown of the message:

  1.  Happiness comes at a price; To be paid up front
  2.  You have no right to be happy, but you may earn bits of it
  3.  Happiness is no more than a treat: not essential, but an extra
  4.  Happiness is so unimportant, you may only enjoy it when there is time left over!!  
     For Time is actually intended for serious matters [that rarely bring joy - how come?]
    With that message in mind, a room dedicated to hours of happiness becomes a threat.  It requires a huge entrance fee and it makes the person entering it into a felon, stealing Time that was meant to be spent on serious matters. On tasks that matter more to others than to oneself.
And one should put others first, because  "what am I anyway" ? Someone who doesn't even have the right to be happy....

        So especially when the woman is tired, burned out and feeling down... the price of entering the room has become way too high. For she is much too tired to pay the price required to be have a happy hour.  No, for the woman it is best to stay away from happy places...


    Actually, her generation was brought up that way and many of them get a burn out when they are somewhere around 50. These people are compulsory in delivering whatever is demanded by others and great at neglecting their own health.  As a consequence. they do not recharge their battery often enough .... by being doing something that makes them happy.

I am searching like mad to find a way to rub out those bad lessons, so the woman can enjoy being happy without feeling guilty over it.  But it's a difficult puzzle.