Loneliness

Introduction

   I have introduced to you Wisdom, Love, Forgiveness and even True Knowledge  with capitals, as if they are persons. And I told you they are good friends. As are Trust and Honesty.

In False Friends I introduced some of their antagonists: Fear, Greed and Obedience.

But what about Loneliness? Where does she belong? She feels awful, but that doesn't mean she's bad. Obedience sounds good to a lot of people, yet I believe that that is a bad trait. 

Loneliness...  I remember a friend of my mother, a refugee who wrote poems. He wrote "Loneliness, don't be afraid. For I am always with you."    It sent shivers down my spine. 

 

Definition

   In English the stem of the word seems to be lone. While in dutch alone  = alleen, in-zijn-eentje  and lonely  = eenzaam.  The dutch stem must be een (one), a lost L appearing in alleen. [the 2nd L is there for grammatical reasons]

In dutch we play with the word alleen: saying it is al-een, all-one. All is present in One: you are complete. Not accompanied by others, yet not lacking.
'Een-zaam' (~zaam  equals ~some) lacks the 'all'-part. Incomplete.

So being alone is not as bad as being lonely.  I guess you already felt the difference between the two.

Let's ask  Collins...  I gave a special color to the descriptions that are given to one word only.

lonely  

1    abandoned, destitute, estranged, forlorn, forsaken, friendless, lonesome, outcast  

2    alone, apart, by oneself, companionless, isolated, lone, single, solitary, withdrawn  

3    deserted, desolate, godforsaken, isolated, off the beaten track     (informal)   out-of-the-way, remote, secluded, sequestered, solitary, unfrequented, uninhabited

alone  

1    abandoned, apart, by itself, by oneself, deserted, desolate, detached, forlorn, forsaken, isolated, lonely, lonesome, only, on one's tod     (slang)   out on a limb, separate, single, single-handed, sole, solitary, unaccompanied, unaided, unassisted, unattended, uncombined, unconnected, under one's own steam, unescorted  

2    incomparable, matchless, peerless, singular, unequalled, unique, unparalleled, unsurpassed 

The pink words, used for alone only, are positive. All about being capable of doing things by yourself, even being better than others.  The pun ''all-one" is quite accurate.

The red words, reserved to describe lonely, are negative, speaking of being without friends, being a stranger, being destitute.. which means you are far from complete.

The third row of definitions for lonely are mostly about [geographical] isolation: unreachable. Not unsurpassable as in alone, but simply not easy to reach, not easy to touch.... 

Hmmm... touch... isn't that what we miss when we are lonely?  Someone touching you, your soul? Be it physically , or at least spiritually if there is no other way, And likewise you not being able to touch someone.  

Loneliness is the state of not being touched by  -and not touching-  those who treasure you; that's it for me!

 

False friend or True friend?

False friends like Fear, Greed and Obedience make you do bad things. Does Loneliness make you act rotten? Not necessarily, it all depends on how you deal with her.

Fear, Greed and such-like may cause you to run into Loneliness, because people will give up on you if you drive it too far. 

Loneliness is really weird to be with... how can you be lonely when you have her as company? How can she claim she is lonely when she's with you? Is she a liar? Far from it. Loneliness is full of truth... maybe too full for you?

Miss Loneliness  photo by JALF

Loneliness  is painful to be with... HER touch is cold. If you do not have the right stamina, a strong attitude or belief in better times,  then Loneliness can drive you crazy, make you go from bad to worse. But is  that her fault? Or your own response, your own responsibility?

Loneliness undresses you, makes all your frills and glitter and jewelry turn to ashes. There you are... facing the bare facts of your life.
Loneliness gives you the chance to move from hobbling through life with your eyes closed to living with your eyes open. She has removed all distractions and camouflage nets. Giving you the chance to see your goals, if you have the heart to look over the smouldering cinders. Once you've seen them, you can work your way towards them with the strongest sense of direction!

Loneliness is not an easy lady to be with. And you don't want to visit her for a long time. But when you meet her and have the courage to look her in the eye, she is a True Friend

Jo

 

The Tiny Prophet

He doesn't  talk much.  Which is quite odd for a three year old who is discovering the world.

Neither does he stick things in his mouth and is a picky eater.... He relies mostly on what he sees and next on what he hears. Those are the entrances of the world to this little boy.

Trains are his passion. That's why his mother buys him magazines about trains and model railroading. She's familiar with this, because her father and brother share her son's love for the -friendly- iron dragon.

He likes looking at the magazine's photos with her and listens intently to what she reads and explains. Like why there is no coffee being served in trains or about that beautiful green train -model 'plan T'-  which is called 'the Future'. His mother says he can't ride in it, he can  only see it in a museum.

She may be a bit older now, but she's definitely still 'with it'. Look at her, she goes to Amsterdam on her own. Taking train and tram.

She finds herself a seat, right across a woman with a toddler. An odly looking pair, the pale gray eyed mother and her dark haired son. With such serious dark brown eyes. But she can make this little fellow smile. She is really good in dealing with kids. 

As the train has left the station she breaks the ice. She smiles down at the little boy, lifts her index finger like a teacher would and says. "Isn't it nice, we're on a train." The mother averts her eyes, looks out the window. But she's got the boy's attention. "Do you know what the train says?" Shyly the boy smiles back at her. 

"The train says tsjookah tsjookah tsjoo,"  she explains and nods to stress the importance of her words.

The boy's eyes narrow as he looks straight into her eyes. He's not smiling, just dead calm. "Ma'am. The future doesn't exist anymore."

She gasps with surprise, looks around her for help. Not getting it from the mother who is clamping her mouth shut. She misses out on the twitching of its corners.

She moves to the edge of her seat. As the train reaches Amsterdam, she sighs relieved as she gets up.  "I have to get out here." she explains to no one in particular. And softer "Thank God."

Keepers of a Flame

This post requires no words.
Just Silence.

 

 

Music:permission granted by Boudewijn de Groot and De 3 J's.

 

Music:permission granted by Kevin MacLeod

All art work on this page is either done by 'ant0nj0han'  or JoAnne Lakefield.

Rule Breakers [2of 2]

At the crossing, at the end of the street, I saw a tram arriving at it's stop. I knew now where I was and it would be quite a walk to reach an area that I liked better... Why not, I thought and picked up my speed. Not too much... there's a tram in the direction of the station every couple of minutes, so there's no point in running like mad to catch a tram. The driver however patiently waited and let me hop on. I thanked him and took a seat. I didn't even check the line number. “Second stop” I said to myself. “No matter what stop it is, I'll get out and continue my impro tour of Amsterdam.”

I felt a bit disappointed when I found myself at the Leidseplein, but this time I stuck to my plan. This square is always humming with activity and completely surrounded by large cafes and restaurants. All too obvious, not the kind of small adventures that I'm looking for. I left the square as quickly as I could, taking one of the smaller streets. 

Grotere kaart weergeven

I had left the park, so I was entitled to my cup of coffee, but it wouldn't be in this street I concluded. It held only restaurants offering food from all corners of the world. Japanese, Brazilian, Argentinian and a multitude of supposedly Italian restaurants. It was just after three, but they were all beginning to serve warm meals on the tiny narrow terraces. Waiters were standing outside, watching people walk by. I guess they are supposed to attract customers, a custom I never understood. The ready-made look is more appalling than welcoming to me.

My stomach reminded me that I had taken a tiny and early lunch. Maybe I should look for a restaurant that still served pistolets or sandwiches. After having checked out some of the menu's, this idea was given up. For this street anyway. As I walked on I tried to recall which streets on my way to the station could have one of those typical “brown cafes” that would serve just those items.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of dark brown ones. They belonged to a waiter of yet another Italian restaurant. I wanted to ignore his look, but he didn't let go, he asked me a question with his eyes... I shrugged to tell him no. He shrugged too. “Have it your way” it said. What was happening here? We were having a private conversation, no matter how short. I slowed down. Halted. And turned. “Why not?” I thought and asked if he could serve lunch for, while being pretty sure it wasn't on the menu. 
He said I could and invited me in. Presenting me the dinner menu....  it took some explaining in broken english on both our sides before I finally got what I wanted: an off the menu lunch, befitting someone who likes to stay off route in her life whenever she can.  Life's a journey, not a guided tour right?

After a great lunch... big enough for dinner... it was time to pay up. This time comes always, whether stay on or off  the menu. The risk of off the menu meals is... you don't know how much you will be charged. But at this restaurant, Porto Carrara, they were real modest, more than fair. I was prepared to give my kingdom for such delicious capuccino's. Yet I had to pay even less than ten euro!
NonchalantIy I drew my bank card from my wallet. I only carry enough cash with me to pay for the use of a toilet. Emergency money. I saw the boss frown at the waiter. I couldn't pay by bank card, the waiter explained. I waved my credit cardquestioningly. The men shook their heads. "Is there a cash machine nearby?" I replied.
"And then you'll come back to pay?" the waiter completed my plan. Of course, that's how we do things in the small town I live in. He nodded in agreement and explained to his boss. But this man frowned even worse. Started an argument about me leaving behind my identity card -or was it some other card?-  In a language that was definitely not italian. The outcome was that the waiter walked with me to the cash machine. It was still early, no customers besides me, so he could be spared. While we walked the length of the narrow street, the waiter, greeting a great number of colleagues at other restaurants, shrugged. "My boss wanted you to leave your credit card with him." The waiter was against such distrust and had talked his boss out of it. "So stupid," he went on shaking his head, "taking no risk over such a small amount of money."
"You're right." I gave a short laugh. "When you don't take risks, you rob yourself of good experiences." The owner of the restaurant had just robbed himself of experiencing the honesty of another human being. He didn't believe in honesty and missed out on proving himself wrong. 
The waiter, Bruno, nodded agreeing wholeheartedly. He didn't need my explanation. He had taken risks: he came from eastern europe a month ago to start over in my country. Already knew a lot of people who were obviously fond of him. He drew customers to the restaurant by breaking the rules: daring to go off the menu.

The owner had eyes that watched... making sure he wouldn't get hurt. Shutting out life.
Bruno, his waiter, had eyes that see. They saw me walking by and recognised me as a fellow rule breaker. We communicated without words, got to know bits of eachother and had one of life's small adventures. The positve experience of meeting Trust and Honesty.  

Trust and Honesty... they go off the menu too you know. They are rule breakers themselves!