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Friday, October 21, 2011

Putting out the Trash

Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, 
no one who does what is right and never sins.
Ecclesiastes 7:20

I don't know how it is with you, whoever reads this, but in my life symbolism is not limited to dreams.
Or maybe it is not symbolism, but some 'twin aspect' between mental processes and physical life. I'm am talking about dyeing my hair and putting out the trash.

Indecisive is my middle name. I let matters pile up, until there is an overload. At that point setting things straight becomes a matter of rolling up my sleeves, gritting my teeth and doing an arduous job.
Let's compare it to burning logs and trash: you can either have a cosy fire in your fireplace every night, or a bonfire once in a while. There is no good or bad here, it's just two different styles. I am a bonfire person. But why... why do I yearn to have a small fire burning in my fireplace every night? Or do I feel I should live like that? Am I mixing up real yearnings (true commitment) with my upbringing (false commitment; commiting to the yearnings of my parents) ?
I always tell my son that the education parents give, is just a survival kit, to reach the 21st birthday. By then a person should have figured out his own value system and should redo his own 'upbringing'.

If you are not sure whether you agree with the way your parents raised you: raise a child yourself! If you are educating it right, I mean: conscientiously and NOT on cruise control, you'll be reraising yourself in the mean time. Wow, I'm finally calling myself a good parent!

About imperfect parentsFor english subtitles, click the up-arrow above
and then 'CC'
No this is just a side track. I was talking about indecisiveness. Whenever I am munching on a problem, either not deciding or not acting according to my decision, I fail to put out trash! Litteraly.
Please do not visit me this week:
- my dinner table is inaccessible since I do not clear away the tools and materials I need for sculpting. - there's a lot of saw dust on the floor, thrown out by my degus, who demand a clean cage. (They are now carrying around banners. Lucky for me that I cannot read degu scribbling)
- there's a mountain of old paper that I did not put out last week, when it was to be 'collected'
- dirty dishes have piled up so high, the Olympic committee asked if the pole vault competition of 2012 could be held at my place.
All this is a symbol of my clogged psyche. Are you shivering, feeling nausea, thinking this is a nasty side effect I could do well without?
Wrong. I'm glad it happens. If I close my soul eye trying to ignore my internal problem, my physical eye cannot ignore the external situation. So the physical translation forces me to clean up ... my mind.
And what is even better: Hard work1, like carrying heavy piles of old paper to a recycling container, give me the right proprioceptive input to feel better and stronger. -Yep SPD again- . And that helps me to finally make up my mind and perform that unpleasant task that was clogging my psyche.
So hurray for the physical twin of my psyche. It is a second entrance into solving my problems.

I know that I am right on the brink of unblocking my mind and perform a really dreaded task very soon: I have dyed my hair with henna. It's fiery red. Which looks quite natural on me, because I was born with that haircolour. Could it be hint, in regard to my bonfire character? Alas it fell out when I was five days old, and I got 'milkman's dog hair' in return.
Dyeing my hair is another physical twin of mental perturbation. When I feel I do not like my life anymore and a change is urgently needed, I dye my hair. Not that the different color will change my life. But the moment I get into action to get rid of my boring hair color, I take mental action as well.
What I have to do, and hate to do, is find a home for my mother. I hate doing it, because she used to say she'd rather die. But a household that combines puberty, dementia and midlife crisis is a bomb. And I have to defuse it before it explodes. I quote Ecclesiastes 7:20 to myself to get the job done.

People too often poke fun of the placebo effect. The following situation is sometimes called placebo effect as well. When a man2 feels his headache clearing away just seconds after taking a pill, people naively conclude that the headache must have been imaginary, faked. Because it takes at least 20 minutes for a painkiller to do it's job.
What I think has happened is that physical and mental twin actions took place. Someone just decides that enough is enough. And then he acts physically: walks to the medicine cabinet and takes a pill. In his mind, unseen, there is a twin change: suddenly our body releases us from our headache by producing the right hormone or neurotransmitter. A switch was turned at the enough-is-enough moment. So yes, a real not-imagined headache can disappear before the pill is -chemically- taking effect.

Did you, dear reader, realize that there is a perfect word that sums up mental and physical twinning?
Defintion 1:   perceive (an idea or situation) mentally; "Now I see!"
Definition 2:  make real or concrete; give reality or substance to;
Yes, it's the verb  "to realize". Beautiful word! It sort of proves my theory.

AFTERTHOUGHT (10/22/2011) 
Actually, the quote of Ecclesiastes is NOT a good motivator.  Why would I call admitting that caring for a person with Alzheimer is beyond my limits and finding a  -hopefully- good home for this person,  a sin?  It is not. It's currently the wisest thing to do.

1-For those who are curious: YES, I DO NOT OWN A DISHWASHER . I WASH DISHES BY HAND !!!!! -
2 I'm not going to say woman, women are too often accused of badly timed headaches

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