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Saturday, March 2, 2013

Shifting Attitude

Matthew 6:34

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, 
for tomorrow will worry about itself. 
Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This morning I woke up with a hangover without having had a party.  Nor alcohol either. Well. to be honest... I did have a party...  sort of. Indulging in doing things that I like ignoring the pile of  things that Should be done. Should with a capital s.This morning the Pile grinned at me, towering over me, showing its ugly overgrown brown teeth. I think it had a bad breath too.

I responded in my usual way, filling my empty head with lines like "I hate my life"  "I'm a failure"  "You fool, you make the same mistakes over and over. You'll never grow up" and "Why don't you have more discipline, you spineless slob".
Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. Lightly as a feather. I couldn't see him but I heard him speak to me. "You advocate unconditional love. Not judging, not demanding things from others. Not trying to shape them according to your taste.  Why don't you look at me that way. As if I'm your child or partner. Let me be the way I want to be. Trust me and I'll surprise you."

What did this spirit suggest? That Life is outside of me?. That there is a Me, but not such a thing as <<My Life>> ? So Life will always be there, even without Me... now that is true. A morbid truth, but a fact of life.  It also implies that there will always be Me, even when Life stops. Or to put it more lightly: when Life and I have separated. 

I felt the spirit patiently waiting for my answer. "Well?"  
"I like it". I replied, warming to the idea. "We're partners, I will not judge you nor manipulate or force you, so you can show me what you're like. But you will not judge me either! I'm good and you'll love me even though I falter at times."  What a relief to look at myself that way. And oh boy, will we make a creative team!
The spirit moved back to its own realm, taking my burden with him. The Pile no longer towered over me.
Being left alone I picked up my life again  
no, :-)    just my clothes for today.    [Please note the metaphor]


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