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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Mathematics and Love just don't add up

It's in my genes. To live life without complying to the general consensus. I don't recognise it in time. Or may be I just don't understand it. And I don't like acting according to something that I don't understand.
I never received the 'How-to-act-when Guide'. Misdirected, I guess.

Let's give you a nice example of not going by the rule book, performed by a family member: my grandfather, my mother's father. He was born in 1911. He really ignored consensus when he decided to live with a woman born in 1953.

Dear reader, what have you been doing?
I don't need clairvoyance to tell. You have subtracted 1911 from 1953. But why on earth would you subtract my grandfather from a woman he's in love with? My grandfather being the oldest, subtracted from the youngest? That leaves nothing at most. Or in their case... negativity.
They started a relationship, so you should add them up. When they started, they were 74, not a bad number to start a relationship. And when my grandfather died, they were 136. O.K., not a world shattering record. Her fault.

I've had a relationship with someone 3 years younger than me. Ah, you relax now. That is far more decent. But my relationship lasted only two years. Our fight afterwards lasted much longer.
While my grandfather lived 31 years with his partner.

When thinking, talking, gossiping of a relationship please leave your pocket calculator at it's appointed place: in your pocket.
A relationship is something of the heart. If you must apply calculous, apply the right form.

  • For starters do not subtract one person from the other. When a person is subtracted from a relationship it means the relationship is over.
  • Subtracting is staring at the difference. You know 'subtract 3 from 7' is the same as 'the difference between 3 and 7'. You throw away the resemblances, similarities and parallels. But they fortify a relationship! Don't throw them out.
  • In a relationship, people join forces. So adding them up is the logical way to go about it.
  • Yes, in most relationships multiplication is only just around the corner.
  • Differentiation? Doesn't necessarily have to be the end of a relationship. It might deepen it, expanding the roots. From square to cubic to the n-th level?
  • Power ... a good healthy relationship can definitely give both partners a lot of power to express themselves in this world. Trust me. But it's not something you should be after within a relationship.
  • Division... not a good thing. Being divided in two camps is not good. But seeing division as sharing... can go too far as well. What if everything is shared, the two becoming one? Sounds 'glib' and boring to me. Or maybe one of them is not really flourishing in this relationship, wearing a mask.

I have just one rule of thumb, when it comes to relationships: 
      it's never wrong to love someone.

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